Letting Go of the Ego (and Why It Keeps Sneaking Back)

Letting Go of the Ego (and Why It Keeps Sneaking Back)A real talk from someone who’s still figuring it out

I used to think “letting go of the ego” meant becoming some serene, untouchable person who never got bothered by anything. Like, poof—no more overthinking, no more people-pleasing, no more why did I say that?? moments. Just floating through life like a Zen cloud in yoga pants.

Yeah. Not exactly how it works.

What I’ve learned (the hard way, more than once) is that letting go of the ego isn’t some big, dramatic spiritual event. It’s more like a hundred tiny moments of noticing—“Oh, there I go again, needing approval.” Or “Wow, I’m saying yes when I really want to say no.” Or “Why do I feel like I have to prove myself right now?”

My Ego Wears Yoga Pants and Wants Everyone to Like Her

I’m naturally someone who avoids conflict. I want to be liked. I want people to feel comfortable. I’ve said yes to way too many things just to keep the peace. But when that goes too far, something snaps—and suddenly I’m swinging to the other extreme, fiercely drawing boundaries like this is my sacred space now, thank you very much.

That’s the ego too. The part of me that feels unsafe unless I’m either completely agreeable or fully in control. Neither one is really me, though.

So What Is Me?

That’s the question yoga keeps asking. When I stop identifying with the story—“I have to be nice,” “I’m too much,” “I’m not enough,” “They’re taking advantage of me”—there’s something quieter underneath. It’s not worried about being liked. It’s not pushing people away either. It’s just... present. Aware. Real.

It’s in that space I remember: I can set a boundary without guilt. I can say no without shutting down. I can be kind without abandoning myself.

A Few Ways to Practice Letting Go of the Ego (That Actually Help)

Whether you're a student on the mat, a teacher, or just someone navigating relationships and life, here are a few gentle practices I come back to:

1. Pause before you react. Notice the moment your chest tightens, your jaw clenches, or your mind starts writing a dramatic story. Take one breath. Ask: Is this coming from fear or love?

2. Practice saying no with kindness. It’s a game changer. You can love someone and not do what they want. The ego often confuses boundaries with rejection—but real self-awareness makes space for both.

3. Let yourself be a beginner again. Ego wants to “know.” It wants to look good. But growth usually comes when we admit, I don’t know yet, and that’s okay. Whether you're in a yoga pose, a hard conversation, or life transition—begin again.

4. Laugh at yourself (often).The ego hates this. But joy dissolves tension. It reminds you not to take the spiritual journey so seriously that you forget to live it.

Letting go of the ego isn’t about becoming perfect. It’s about being present. Being real. Being you.

That’s the work I’m doing. If you are too, you’re not alone.

Namaste,

Kristin